Goodbye 2015

Dear 2015,

I've celebrated, achieved, accomplished, completed, written, loved, laughed, written and spoken my mind, created, travelled and gone out on a limb several times. Amongst it all I’ve had several medical procedures and emotionally I've been deeply hurt, rejected, experienced grief and loss and attended more funerals than ever. I celebrated my festival of 50 with the most wonderful people and felt the tyranny of distance from my family and many friends. It's a bugger. With the help of Catherine Deveny I loosened the valve on the stories I have inside me and committed to the letting of more, in many forms, from here. The Frida.Freda project gave me a great opportunity to dream beyond my physical being and express my feelings from the local to global while harnessing the spirit of two magnetic women, Frida and Freda. Thankfully I got the chance to be present with my maternal biological grandmother, a great woman of courage and inspiration after long periods of exclusion resulting from the decisions of others. Nana died six weeks or so after her daughter, my birth-mother. For me her death was more than death. It was death-death. All that was said and unsaid will continue to unravel in my mind and heart for time to come. Not only did I complete five years of under-graduate studies, my marks were sky high and I left Victoria University, Melbourne Australia with a huge sense of achievement and my head and heart filled to their brim. I will miss it. Discoveries of my beginnings, my ancestors and my identity opened up in ways I couldn't have known, and my search will continue. Spending quality time with my brothers and sister-in-laws, their children and their children and my very dear Mum and Dad brought me more peace than they'll ever know - I wish we didn't live so far apart. My potential is being realised more at work and I've been blessed to continue and extend my passion to build better relationships and understanding of our history and the role we all can play to improve the wellbeing of the First Nations peoples of this continent we know as Australia. Then I made a funny little movie, at one of the saddest times of my life. And, at the age of 50 I threw off the shackles of a bystander, fan, publicist, manager etc. etc and I started a band! Borne out of the frustration of the political status quo...... read more at Cranky Pants. It has been an absolute hoot and has made me feel well. Dreams and ambitions can come at you in the most unexpected way. And I have many more and no doubt I'll be amazed at how and when they evolve and who they involve and where my future journeys will lead. And through all of this I've loved and have been loved and held by my beautiful Andyman, Angus and Brigit. It's hardly surprising they haven't found me the funniest person in the house this year, (I gave it a good shot, periodically) but I reckon I give the best hugs.

Thanks 2015 and more to the cast of thousands who've taken part in my year; my teachers, my friends, my co-workers, collaborators, who've leant an ear, shown up when asked, played me music, shared music, a coffee, a drink and a meal, brought me flowers, written to me, laughed with me or just lurked in the background and special mentions - I see you.